muntahkan segala

lemparkan semua

hingga berdesis

dan mengikis

lalu apatis

seribu harap tertanam

seribu sedih menyatu

seribu angan melayang

seribu hati menancap

 

saatnya menarik

saatnya berdiam

saatnya menghela

saatnya memejam

 

dan berdoa

menyerahkan segalanya

kepada waktu

dan Tuhan

 

agar langkah tak terputus lagi

agar hati tak terpatahkan lagi

agar dinding tetap terbuka

 

lalu hatipun tersenyum bersama

oh elise it doesn't matter what you say i just can't stay here every yesterday like keep on acting out the same the way we act out every way to smile forget and make-believe we never needed any more than this any more than this oh elise it doesn't matter what you do i know i'll never really get inside of you to make your eyes catch fire the way they should the way the blue could pull me in if they only would if they only would at least i'd lose this sense of sensing something else that hides away from me and you there're worlds to part with aching looks and breaking hearts and all the prayers your hands can make oh i just take as much as you can throw and then throw it all away oh i throw it all away like throwing faces at the sky like throwing arms round yesterday i stood and stared wide-eyed in front of you and the face i saw looked back the way i wanted to but i just can't hold my tears away the way you do elise believe i never wanted this i thought this time i'd keep all of my promises i thought you were the girl i always dreamed about but i let the dream go and the promises broke and the make-believe ran out... so elise it doesn't matter what you say i just can't stay here every yesterday like keep on acting out the same the way we act out every way to smile forget and make-believe we never needed any more than this any more than this and every time i try to pick it up like falling sand as fast as i pick it up it runs away through my clutching hands but there's nothing else i can really do there's nothing else i can really do there's nothing else i can really do at all...

is this darkness once again?

blinding lights rushing towards my eyes
soft colours filling my face
smile shaping

yet it confuses me alot
leaving me standing still
because there are no single clue nor direction i could follow

is this darkness once again?

I'm not asking much
All I want is just that one

that one who shrieks deep
that one who glows inside

that one with lesser mourn
that one with a drip of anger

that one who easily shuts my heart
and rises that wall of steel again

the one who far from shadow
yet always shadowing

I don't know where I stand with you
I don't know what i mean to you

all I know
is everytime I think of you
all I wanna do is be with you..

quoted from somewhere

protect me from what I want..

so I step into the arena
to taste this battle area
to feel this battleground

but not to attack,
nor to ambush.

I'm here to defend,
solely because..

I don't want to won her over,
I want her to want me

I don't want to won her over,
for she already won me over.

 

whew.. what is this??

it's tingling
it's tickling
it's fun..

further more

it's comforting..

dazzling all the way...